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Groom Speech Material

Packed with model speeches, witty lines, charming anecdotes and smart observations to help you create a memorable wedding speech in no time.

Line from the archive

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I have been told that this is usually one of the only times in a married man's life when he can be in the company of his wife and mother in-law and not be interrupted … I may be here sometime."

Line from the archive

"Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There's a medical team waiting outside the building and I'd like them to have a clear run when my father in-law is presented with the final bill."

Line from the archive

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I did, of course, have a great speech of my own worked out for you today, but as I am now married, my wife has told me what to say instead."

Basics

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Groom Speech Explained

The groom is expected to make a heartfelt speech. The groom's first job is to echo the father of the bride's welcoming sentiments and pay tribute to both sets of parents, along with anyone else he deems relevant. Compliments towards the bride and bridesmaids are advised, a comedic pass at a family member is expected, and a sly dig at the appearance of the ushers never goes amiss. After the formalities are out of the way you'll probably want to share a story about how you and your new wife met.

Groom Speech Tips

Talk like you're actually married with plenty of 'we' rather than 'I'.
Thank everyone you're supposed to, i.e. the mother, bridesmaids, caterers, the bride's sperm donor father etc.
If you only do two things, simply say how beautiful your bride is and communicate your gratitude to your in-laws.
Stories must be broad enough for everyone to understand. Don't include material of the 'You had to be there' variety.
Infuse your speech with wit. Wedding speech humour is best delivered dry, unexpected and with a straight face.
Don't make fun of your bride or the mother-in-law, it's safer to make yourself the punchline.
Personalise the speech by adding experiences and observations that are unique to you and your bride.
Do not forget to acknowledge your parents with a few affectionate words.
Keep the speech shorter than ten minutes. Too much detail weakens the impact. If it doesn't add to the story - take it out.
Your last words before a toast should always demonstrate the love you have for your bride.

Latest Features

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Occupation Humour

Ladies often take after their fathers, and even if they don't, this belief is so common that you can easily riff on it during your groom's wedding speech. Drawing a link between the bride and her dad will instantly endear you to the audience, as this inoffensive source of humour also invokes the feeling of family within the room.

"Everyone thought that we'd never work out because Dani and I are both so ambitious and competitive. We proved 'em wrong though, didn't we babe? Well, I say we…"

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"I knew I was in love with Rachel because I lost interest in my car for a couple of days. Now I divide my time equally between the two. It's only fair…the Merc was here first."

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"It's bad luck to see the wedding dress before the ceremony, so last night I stayed at my best man's house. He's got one of those futuristic bathrooms when the light turns on when you open the door, and shuts off again when you close it. At least I hope he does, otherwise I may have mistakenly taken a piss in his fridge."

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"Thankfully, my stag party was weeks ago as I know my Joanne wouldn't have stood for me drinking last night and being hungover this morning. So if I do appear dishevelled, unkempt and tired, I can only presume I am suffering the effects of marriage far earlier than anticipated."

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An opening line from a wedding speech that immediately grabs the audience's attention

ACT OF BRAVERY FROM A BRIDE'S BROTHER

An opening line that immediately grabs everyone's attention. This wedding speaker demonstrates the key to a good joke is the unforeseen dry twist at the very last moment.